Man-Crush?

Simon had to go to an embassy today, and due to rigorous security measures was not allowed to take any kind of personal belongings with him; no bags, no phones, no clothes. Well obviously he was allowed to wear clothes, but for all intents and purposes he was otherwise naked.

This is how our conversation went once he was finished:

Me: How did it go?

Simon: Complicated.

Me: Complicated?

Simon: Yeah. I was walking through the park near the embassy and realised that my USB Stick was in my pocket, and that they wouldn't let me in with it on my person.

Me: Oh. So did you dispose of it?

Simon: Yeah...I hid it.

Me: You hid it?

Simon: Yeah. I hid it. In the park.

(...PAUSE...)

Me: You hid your USB Stick in the park?

Simon: Yeah. I was quite clever because I dropped my A to Z by accident, and then bent down and pretended to pick it up, but what I was really doing was hiding my USB Stick under a memorial plinth.

(...SILENCE...)

Simon: You know, so they didn't see.

(...PAUSE...)

Me: They?

Simon: Yeah. Them.

Me: Them?

Simon: Oh it doesn't matter. What matters is that I managed to safely hide my USB Stick before I went dark.

(...PAUSE...)

Me: Before you went dark?

Simon: Yeah. Before I went dark. Underground, un-contactable...Like Jack Bauer.

(...LONG PAUSE AS I STIFLE A GUFFAW...)

Me: I knew this would be something to do with Jack Bauer.

Simon (flustered): Yeah well whatever. YOU JUST WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND...

Either my husband is working for The Counter Terrorist Unit or he has a huge man-crush on Jack Bauer.

I. Just. CANNOT decide...